“No Strings Attached” — Feb. 12, 2012 — John 3:16-21

by Cheryl Boettger

Have you ever received what you thought was a “gift” only to find out later that there were “strings attached”? When we give a gift, no matter whether it is the gift of our love, our time, one of our possessions or something we picked out and bought at a store, there is part of us in that gift. We want the recipient to appreciate that gift, to value it, as if it were a representation of us.

Have you ever had someone give you a gift and ask for it back? How does that make you feel? After my mother died, my aunt asked me if I would give her back the sable coat she’d given my mother. Frankly, I was looking forward to having a sable coat, knowing it is something I would never be able to afford to buy myself. At the time, I was surprised by her request, but it clearly illustrates my point: my aunt still felt she had a piece of that coat even though she “gave” it to her sister. It was as though there was still an invisible string attached to that coat and my aunt. Yes, there were strings attached to that gift.

Is it truly a gift if we’re expecting it to be returned under certain circumstances? Can you call it a gift if there are expectations of some kind of payback?

For God so loved the world…

Sometimes we see our gifts not being cared for as we would like them to be, not being treasured by the person we gave them to and we say to ourselves, “Well, if that is the way they are going to treat it, then that is the last time they get something expensive from me! Forget Nordstrom’s, it’s the Dollar Store from now on.” Or perhaps you give someone money and don’t like how they spend it, you might decide not to give them money again. Was it truly a gift or were there strings attached?

What about the times you give a gift and you don’t even get a “Thank You”? You might say, “That’s it, I’m done! I’m not giving them anything anymore.” Have you said this? I have. I have four nephews. I like to think of myself as a generous aunt especially since I don’t have any children. In addition to birthdays and Christmas, kids are always needing money for Boy Scouts, sports equipment, mission trips or the high school band fundraiser. When asked, I bought whatever they were selling or contributed money toward their trips. Two of my nephews always respond with thank you notes and the other two, they never respond. Over the years, I’ve given generously to all my nephews but somewhere along the way, I grew tired of giving to the two who never thanked me. So I stopped responding to these “extra” requests for money but continued to give gifts on their birthdays and Christmas. I guess you can say that I attached strings to my gifts.  As long as I was acknowledged and thanked, I continued to give but when I wasn’t, I stopped.

For God so loved the world that He GAVE….

Parents by their very nature are responsible for their children’s welfare; to feed and clothe them until they leave the nest. Parents are constantly giving to their children; that is part and parcel of being a parent. But parents aren’t the only ones who give. Any committed relationship involves the giving of time, resources and most especially our love, the most meaningful gift we can give.

Think for a few minutes of all the things that you’ve done out of love for someone you’ve cared for. Have you ever cleaned up someone else’s vomit before at 2am? Now, that is love! Have you ever stayed up all night long listening to your friend who just needed to talk? Now that is love! How many football games have you endured because your partner loves football? Now that is love! Have you ever laid down your life for someone? In John 15, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command… My command is this, love each other.”

For God so loved the world that He GAVE his only begotten Son…

Love. For God so loved. Love! Our love, does it come with strings attached? Have you ever found yourself saying, “After all I’ve done for you?” The implication is that the recipient of all the things you’ve done is ungrateful, maybe even more than ungrateful, hateful or something far worse. Let’s face it; if we haven’t said it, we’ve surely thought it. Anyone who is human is probably familiar with that sentiment. How many times have you said that? How many times have you been on the receiving end of that declaration?

As parents, you don’t know how your children will turn out, what kind of choices they will make. Many of your children’s choices will be painful for you or anger you. It is only natural to think back on all the things you did for them as they were growing up; changing diapers, staying up all night when they were sick, driving to and from endless soccer games. And this is how they repay you?

Maybe you can identify, but then again maybe you can’t because you aren’t a parent… but maybe you’re married. What about this scenario, “I gave up college and went to work so you could go to school, I kept the house clean, I wash your socks and underwear, I work like a dog for YOU and this is how you treat me?” Why do we do the things we do for others? Are they gifts done out of love or are we doing them because we expect something in return? Yes, I think it is only natural that we have expectations that our love will be returned. But are we keeping a tally sheet of what we’ve done for our friends, spouses, children? Do you feel like you’re always the giver and when it comes to receiving you’ve gotten the short end of the stick? Are you keeping track?

We always think life should be fair; that things should balance out when that is really a child’s way of looking at the world and not something based on experience and wisdom that comes with the years. But love isn’t about balance sheets, about who does more, and keeping track. If love is about what is fair, then I’d say that there are strings attached. That you aren’t truly “giving,” because what is a gift if it hasn’t been freely given, if it has strings attached? All it really is, is a loan or perhaps an investment, and repayment or rewards are expected. Is your love like this?  Do you give it freely?  Or do you keep a tally sheet of what you do compared to what others do for you? In the book of Matthew chapter 10, verse 8, Jesus is talking to his disciples and instructing them before sending them out on mission saying, “You have received without paying, so give without being paid.” God asks us to give of ourselves and to serve and to not count the cost.

Next week Pastor Rick is going to be finishing his sermon series on the Five Practices of a Fruitful Congregation. Does anyone recall what the fifth practice is?  Extravagant Generosity. He may mention Second Serving Saturday which took place here last night. This ministry is a “gift” to the people of Mt. Washington, a gift with no strings attached. People can come here for a free meal and fellowship and there is no cost, no obligation and no payback expected. I don’t think all of us understand that this is exactly what it is that God wants us to do; to give and to love, to serve and not to count the cost. If we are upset that no one comes to church as a result of this meal, we are missing the point entirely and attaching strings to this gift. Our job is to serve, to plant seeds and in this case, to feed people. It is a gift. We are the servants here. In Mark 10:45 Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served; he came to serve and to give his life to redeem many people.” WE need to cut the strings we attach to our giving. We need to cut the strings when we give our love.

For God so loved the world….

Let’s re-adjust out thinking and turn this around now. We’ve been talking about us and viewing this from an adult perspective and also a parent’s perspective. Let’s put ourselves in the child’s shoes. You are the child. I don’t care if you’re 14, 54 or 94, you are still a child. You’re a child of God. God is your parent. Your heavenly father, your creator has given you everything… He has given you the gift of life. He also gives you His greatest gift, His unconditional and sacrificial love with no strings attached. He loves us no matter what we’ve done, what we do or who we are. But just because he loves us unconditionally doesn’t mean He isn’t disappointed in us. Remember, God’s a parent too! Like any child, we make choices that make Him unhappy. Choices though, are but another gift He gave us: our free will, the freedom to choose, to make choices both good and bad.  But no matter what choices we make, his unconditional love for us has no strings attached. It is freely given to all who choose to accept it. Freely given, no strings attached.  Like any gift, we are free to accept it, to treasure it, to be thankful for it, to use it for awhile then throw it away or reject it outright. Has anyone ever rejected a gift you’ve given them? Has anyone ever rejected your love? How did that feel? I wonder how God feels when his love is continually rejected? I wonder if He ever thinks “After all I’ve done for you!”

For God so loved the world that He GAVE….

…His Son, this most precious gift of all. Our Redeemer, our Savior came at a great price. Parents, I ask you, would you sacrifice your child so that another may live? Would you sacrifice your child so that the heroin addict might live? Would you sacrifice your child so that a murderer might find life? Would you? God did.

God loved his children, all his children, so much that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believed in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life. But whether you believe in Him or not, you are loved, by your Father, your Creator—the one who knows every hair on your head. He loves you, no strings attached. God loves you! Amen.